Why anxiety does not switch off

Stress is not the enemy

Imagine there's a little guard living in your belly. Their job is to protect you. When something unpleasant happens (a boss yells at you, you almost fall, you argue with a loved one), the guard jumps up and shouts: "Danger!". Your heart beats faster, your muscles tense, your breathing quickens. That's stress. Your body is getting ready to save you.

It's a very useful thing. If a mean dog were actually running at you, the guard would help you run away. The trouble is something else: the guard doesn't know how to calm down on their own. They shout "Danger!" and wait for you to show your body that it's all over. And we often forget to do that.

Why anxiety stays the night

You received a difficult email. The guard shouted, your body tensed up. But you just closed your laptop and went to sleep. You put the email aside, but no one gave the guard the "all clear." And they stay on duty all night. In the morning, you wake up feeling exhausted, even though you supposedly slept.

Scientists have a simple word for this: an incomplete circle. Stress is like a circle: the beginning (got scared), the middle (body tensed up), the end (body relaxed, everything is fine). If there was no end, the circle stays open, and the anxiety hormone, cortisol, churns inside. Cortisol is just a chemical that the body releases into the blood when scared. It's not bad in itself. It's bad when there's too much of it and it doesn't go anywhere.

How to close the circle

The circle can be closed intentionally, with your own hands. Three simplest ways, and they all work through the body, not through thoughts:

• Move. 10-20 minutes of movement: brisk walking, dancing in the kitchen, shaking your arms and legs. Movement burns cortisol, like fire burns wood.
• Hug or have a heart-to-heart talk. A warm person nearby, and the body understands: I am safe, I can exhale.
• Say "enough for today." Close the laptop, leave the work chat, and announce out loud to your body: "The day is over." This is the signal to the guard: "All clear."

Remember

Being tired from stress is not a weakness. It's open circles that no one closed. You don't have to endure them. Every circle can be completed, and your body will thank you.

From real life

Marina spent the whole day preparing a report, and her boss criticized it. In the evening, she lay down, but the same thoughts kept spinning in her head, and she couldn't sleep. So she got up, walked briskly around the apartment to music for 15 minutes, and said out loud: "okay, enough for today." She fell asleep half an hour later. Her body finally got the signal that the chase was over.

Why this works

Cortisol doesn't go away from persuasion, but from action. Movement, warm contact, and a clear end to the day are three commands of "all clear" that the body understands. The body doesn't hear thoughts, but it hears steps, a hug, and a closed laptop very well.

Practice

Homework

In the evening, take a 10-minute walk and at the end say: "This day is complete." Write down in one sentence what changed. See you tomorrow for the second step.